We as a species have managed to beat the deadliest of disease, explore other planets, and even find a way to create babies in a test tube. And yet we still haven’t found the answer to some very simple problems: baldness, for one. Missing socks in a washing machine. Or who let the dogs out!?
Millenniums have passed, we men are yet to find the G-spot and yet we claim to know our way around women. I may fair no better yet it doesn’t keep me from dispensing advice in print and (at national circulation levels) about how men should tackle the prettiest conundrum that God ever sculpted.
What follows then is a handpicked (we like the word handpicked, makes everything feel so…so curated and special) selection of scribbles from my column where I step away from the drinking and the eating and all that subsequent running to talk about our favourite subject, that which precedes wine and song.
If you still don’t get it, Q.E.D.
If Truth be Told (30/06/2015) – Why men need to appoint one man whose job is to tell all women exactly like it really is.
Cracking the bro code asian age (06/05/2015) – The unspoken code of conduct that men seem to know and follow, unbeknownst to the fairer sex.
Why men should want to be woman for a day (08/03/2015) – Quick thoughts on why being a woman could be advantageously better for men.
How To Behave Around Women (25/03/2015) – A quick guide for men on how to conduct themselves around their fairer friends. Being appropriate without overdoing it.
Gender-ally Speaking (11/03/2015) – Thoughts on why India stifled the documentary “India’s Daughter” by Leslee UDWIN and, if I dare add, why it was a stupid move!
What Men Need, a word on Meninism (25/02/2015) – Why men too need a movement to defend their rights as also feel pampered equally.
Women and the art of Frenemies (12/01/2014)– How women can balance that subtle act of being friends and yet sworn nemeses. Or, can they…
And, should you are somehow finding this worthy, the somewhat-complete archive can be accessed here.
This is a collection of my running columns that have appeared in MW magazine, India’s leading men’s lifestyle publication. All reviews were based on first-hand trials (10kms for swimming, 200kms for cycling, and 100kms for running) and nothing is paid publicity. That said, if I have enjoyed a certain product more than average, it will certainly reflect in the stories.
Choosing a Running Shoe (Apr 2015) – Some advice on how to pick your first pair. Don’t worry if you hate it almost immediately; most of us do.
Importance of Patience (Feb 2015) – How training requires strength, stamina, dedication, and oodles of patience!
Getting Started (Jan 2015) – Tips on how to go from couch to coached!
If you can tell, I am feeling a bit Bond, James Bond. If he can have a movie called the Quantum of Solace then I jolly well am justified writing a blog entry titled such.
But it is true folks, life is about the bigger picture, not the 300mm zoom version shot from a voyeuristic angle that you often get to see, although, I admit, that is not a bad angle to see things.
Annyhoos…Enough deep talk; let’s get shallow…today I am in the mood to administer a little get-to-know-me true-false quiz-format kinda’ entry. It is my (vain) attempt at trying to make my mundane details sound intriguingly exciting! Here goes… Read more of this article »
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The new corporate conglomerate is a very scared body. So traumatised are they by the very people that they try to serve and save that they don’t know anymore how to get up in the morning and breathe without pissing off some activist, a minority community, or an endangered species of a rare marsupial. What started as America’s favourite past time – suing someone over something they did or didn’t do, suing someone else who thought that this idea was silly to begin with and then going and suing the entire legal system just to keep things animated – has now definitely blown out of proportions. Read more of this article »
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Doing business is easy, but not in India. On the degree of being a difficult thing to do, business in India ranks right behind removing your own appendix without enough anaesthetic. Sure there may be government subsidies but that means dealing with government officials in the first place. Save having in-laws over for your honeymoon, nothing can be more unpleasant.
But fear not. I am experienced in the ways of at least this world. I have tackled numerous slimy officials, bribed many a clerk, sweet-talked an equal number of ‘babus’ and bought the wedding decorations for a few ministerial secretaries, and all that only before my morning tea today.
Read on then to your own fortunes. Here are things they don’t teach you at night school.
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I have just come back from Spain, perhaps the most homophobic country in the world. Either that or they are all closet homosexuals with a deep-rooted insecurity and some sort of need to “fit in”.
Sounds rude right? Well it was all fine till I went for a bull fight, or, as they like to glamorously call it, a Corrida de Toro. I always knew the correlation between big cars and the penises of men who own them but this public drama of complex egos, this mayhem of the morons, this fiesta of fragile fools is something that could keep even Freud up and perplexed for a very long time. No other society in the world I can think of feels so desperate a need to prove their virility and power in a manner more degrading, self-degenerating, uncivilised and illogical. And all this under the blinding garb of tradition, honour and other such words that bullfighting enthusiasts obviously love to cite but have no clue to their meanings.
The term “Bull Fight” is only half true: that there is a bull involved. Outside of that, it isn’t much of a fight. Taking candy from a kid might be considered a stiffer challenge with higher betting odds, especially given how kids are nowadays, with cable TV and wrestling and what not. Bull-fighting, in comparison, is like driving with the seat belt not off but just a tad loose in a Styrofoam car. I think a mechanical bull ride could be more dangerous. This made even American football appear gruesome, forget ice hockey or rugby or worse yet, Aussie rules football. Read more of this article »
Like a mild rash in the nether regions, we have all got it at one point or another. At all odd hours, odd situations – “Hello, Good evening sir/ma’am, would you like a credit card/loan/phone connection…they are like spam in your mailbox except that unlike spam they arrive at the most inauspicious of occasions.
I remember reading somewhere that the telephone was invented about three decades or so after the bath tub (don’t ask me where I find such stuff). I sure as hell doubt its authenticity but the point made was very relevant. It said that for about thirty years you could step into a warm comfortable bath without the telephone going off! Read more of this article »
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I have never had an ugly dream where I got up in the middle of the night sweating and palpitating. I would like to though, would make me feel like that guy in the “November Rain” video. Statistics have shown that most such people were having nightmares about being trapped, suffocation, arranged marriages, free-falling…mostly, deathly dreams without the ability to do anything about it except to get more scared till such time when they shocked themselves awake!
The good thing is that this made many swear off marriage. Almost all of them even managed to go back to sleep. I couldn’t. Reading about such stuff put one thing in my head – death, when it comes, comes without a warning. No save-the-date cards, no placemarkers – just pure stiffness and numbness all over all of a sudden. Read more of this article »
The world is full of places and institutions that we collectively refer to as the hospitality industry – bars, cafes, restaurants, hotels, motels – all are a dot on the hospitality map. Hospitality itself can be defined as the combination of an array of products (tangible) and a series of actions (intangible) which together help facilitate productive and effective employment of one’s time and also to make one feel welcome and at home.
So when we go and buy a meal or a glass of wine we are contributing to the hospitality industry in exchange for services that can and cannot be quantified. A room we hire is a certain size and we can hence calculate how much a hotel charges per square inch of space they rent out. The bottle of water they sell too has a similar measurable cost component. But what about a bed that is always made and the fact that at some places they buff-shine your shoes and arrange your clothes in neat folded piles? What about the steward who always greets you by your name and remembers your favourite dish and the way you like your drinks? There is no defined way of measuring the worth of all such gests and instances which although almost invisible are an intrinsic and important part of the hospitality product.
These are services and for a sceptic like me they remain the most desirable and yet the least offered part of the hospitality component. Are we, the people of an independent democratic republic, really being served?
India is (finally) shining. It may not seem like a complete even sheen but it sure does have a certain lustrous appeal about it. It’s the beam of a satiated belly, a good Indian meal downed with some good wine.
No, wait, I am not going to rant about Indian food and wine pairing for 2 reasons: I have bored too many too often with it and secondly, I charge for it.
What I am on about is how restaurants in the capital have upped the ante thus taking local competition to a whole new level. Having reached a certain sense of peak with respect to decor and dining props – cutlery, crockery, freshly flown-in fish et al – the stripes now belong to the one who can slickly and superbly pair off the food with some wine. Gone are the days of Punjabi Chinese and stale Sushi. The new places take every precaution to make sure that you get great food and superb service – supreme satisfaction. But they are still not cheap, who said anything about cheap.
So here is a list of restaurants which I feel are doing a fairly good job of choosing the right food and wine and then making sure that the two come together at the right time on the right table to culminate in unparalleled culinary delight, or big tips, whichever happens first or more often.